SATURDAY'S WITH STEF: Love is in the Air...

 

I can sit here and spill my guts about how I met a boy at 15 and it changed my life forever ( HERE ). I can tell you about the abuse he put me through and so on. But I've written about the domestic, verbal, and mental abuse he put me through repeatedly, not to remind myself of the pain, but to remind myself that THAT ISN'T LOVE. 

I can spill my guts how my dads lack of involvement played a part in me choosing men. I can tell you how my grandpa treated me like a princess....But you guys have already read that.

I write what I feel. I write it raw, I do VLOGS as raw as possible. No editing, no beating around the bush. Why? Because I hope someone, some woman, out there in the world doesn't feel so alone and knows that if I can make it, so can they. 

I know what it's like to want to not wake up. I know what it's like to think about death every five seconds, thinking the world would be better off without you. I know what it's like to think, "I deserve this!" All the bad stuff, all the abuse, I thought I deserved it. I was convinced it was "Love."

Truth is, I didn't know what love really was until I started loving myself. 

That's right, MYSELF!

Self-love is the best love. 

It's taken me some years to get to know parts of me that I find absolutely beautiful. The flaws are even beautiful. I know I am not perfect. Every day I am still learning about myself. Every day I am still loving myself a tad bit more than I did the day before. 

It's a process too....loving yourself is a process. 

Doesn't happen over night. But if you put work into yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually like I have done (still doing) You get there. You learn to love yourself and I can't even tell you or even begin to tell you how amazing self-love feels...because it just feels amazing.

Abuse isn't love. 

I ask those of you suffering from Domestic Violence to please seek help and get out, love yourself and do better.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-SAFE (7233)